The Unspoken Struggle: Understanding Postpartum OCD

Welcoming a new baby is time of excitement and joy for new mothers, it can also trigger a terrifying mental health challenge: Postpartum OCD. Unlike the "baby blues," PP-OCD involves persistent, repetitive, and distressing thoughts that can make daily life feel like a minefield.

The most important thing to know right now? You are not your thoughts, and you are not alone.

Common Themes of Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts in PP-OCD are ego-dystonic, meaning they are the opposite of your actual character, values, and desires. Because you value your baby’s safety above all else, your brain "glitches" by generating "what-if" scenarios regarding their harm. Common themes include:

• Accidental Harm: Constant fears of dropping the baby, tripping while carrying them, or germs causing a fatal illness.

• Intentional Harm: Terrifying "flashes" or images of causing harm to the baby (e.g., with a kitchen knife or near stairs).

• Hyper-Responsibility: An overwhelming feeling that if you aren't constantly vigilant, something catastrophic will happen.

• Contamination: Excessive cleaning or avoiding public spaces to protect the baby from perceived "toxins."

What Keeps People from Seeking Help?

The biggest barrier to treatment is shame. Many mothers fear that if they admit to having thoughts about harm, they will be judged, labeled "unfit," or—worst of all—have their children taken away by Child Protective Services.

The Reality: Research shows that parents with OCD are actually less likely to act on their thoughts than the general population because they find the thoughts so abhorrent. Clinical professionals trained in perinatal mental health understand the difference between a thought (OCD) and an impulse (psychosis).

How ERP Helps New Moms Take Their Life Back

The gold standard for treating PP-OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). It sounds intimidating, but it is a liberating process that helps you "retrain" your brain's alarm system.

• The Exposure: Under the guidance of a therapist, you gradually face the situations or thoughts that trigger your anxiety (e.g., holding your baby while standing near a staircase).

• The Response Prevention: You learn to sit with the discomfort without performing a compulsion (like checking the baby's breathing for the 50th time or asking for constant reassurance).

• The Result? Over time, your brain learns that these thoughts are "noise," not "news." As the "false alarms" decrease, the anxiety fades, allowing you to stop surviving and start bonding with your baby.

  Resources for Support

  If you are struggling, please reach out to specialized organizations:

  • Postpartum Support International (PSI)

  • International OCD Foundation (IOCDF)

  You deserve to enjoy motherhood. Healing is possible.

Finding Strength in Numbers: Why Group Therapy is a Powerhouse for Overcoming Phobias

Do you ever feel like your phobia is a wall between you and the life you want to lead? Whether it’s a fear of heights, social situations, or specific objects, phobias can feel incredibly isolating. You might think, "Nobody else feels this way," or "I'm the only one who struggles with this."

But what if you didn't have to climb that wall alone?

While individual therapy is a fantastic starting point, group therapy offers unique, high-impact benefits that can actually speed up your progress in conquering deep-seated fears. Here is why joining a group might be the missing piece in your healing journey.

1. You Realize You’re Not Alone (The "Me Too" Effect)

The biggest hurdle in treating a phobia is often the shame and isolation that comes with it. In a group setting, that isolation vanishes. Seeing others face similar struggles validates your experience.

2. A Safe "Laboratory" for Social Exposure

Phobias—especially social phobias—thrive on avoidance. Group therapy acts as a safe, controlled "laboratory" where you can practice being around others and managing your physiological responses.

• Real-time feedback: You get to hear how others perceive you, which is often far more positive than your own internal critic.

3. Modeling and Collective Courage

Watching a peer take a small step toward facing their fear is incredibly motivating. This is called vicarious learning. When you see someone else in the group navigate a trigger successfully, it builds your own "self-efficacy"—the belief that you can do it, too. In a group, the courage of one person often becomes the courage of the whole room.

4. Cost-Effective Growth

Let’s be practical: overcoming a phobia often requires consistent, frequent sessions. Group therapy is significantly more affordable than individual therapy—often a third or a quarter of the price. This allows you to stay in treatment longer, ensuring you have support through every stage of your "exposure" process without the financial strain.

"What if I’m too anxious to join?"

It’s completely normal to feel nervous about group therapy. To help with this, we ensure:

• Pre-Group Consultations: You’ll meet the facilitator 1-on-1 first to ensure the group is a good fit.

• Clear Structure: Most groups follow a specific rhythm so you always know what to expect.

• Shared Goals: Everyone in the room is there for the same reason—to get their lives back from fear.

Ready to take the next step?

Don't let a phobia keep your world small. Join a community of people who "get it" and start moving toward a braver, freer version of yourself.

Contact me for more information on available group therapy!

Breaking the Fear of Facing Fear: 5 Myths About ERP Therapy

If you live with OCD, you’ve likely heard that Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is the "gold standard" for treatment. You’ve also likely heard things that make you want to run in the opposite direction.

OCD thrives on uncertainty and fear, so it makes sense that the treatment for it feels intimidating. Let’s clear the air by debunking the five biggest myths keeping people from the life-changing benefits of ERP.

Myth 1: My therapist is going to force me to do something "gross" or "dangerous" on day one.

The Reality: ERP is a collaborative process, not a reality TV stunt. You are the one in the driver's seat. In the beginning, you and your therapist will create a hierarchy of fears (sometimes called a "bravery ladder"). You start with things that cause mild anxiety and only move to more difficult challenges when you feel ready. A good therapist will never force you to do something; they will encourage and coach you through it.

Myth 2: ERP is just "facing your fears" until they go away.

The Reality: The "Response Prevention" part is actually the most important bit. Facing a fear (Exposure) is only half the battle. If you touch a "contaminated" doorknob but then immediately wash your hands, you haven’t done ERP—you’ve just performed a ritual. The magic happens when you stay in the presence of the anxiety without doing the compulsion. This teaches your brain that the "alarm" it’s sending is a false one.

Myth 3: ERP will make my OCD worse by focusing on it.

The Reality: It might feel more intense temporarily, but it is the path to long-term relief. Think of it like cleaning out a messy closet. It looks much worse when everything is pulled out on the floor, but that’s the only way to get it organized. ERP doesn't "create" more OCD; it just shines a light on the thoughts you’re already having so they lose their power over you. Over time, the process of habituation occurs—where your nervous system naturally settles down.

Myth 4: I have "Pure O," so ERP won't work for me.

The Reality: ERP is highly effective for mental compulsions, too. Even if your compulsions aren't visible (like hand-washing), you are likely performing mental rituals like ruminating, praying, or checking your feelings. In these cases, ERP involves exposing yourself to the intrusive thought and then resisting the mental urge to figure it out or neutralize it.

Myth 5: If I do ERP, I’ll lose my personality or become "reckless."

The Reality: ERP helps you reclaim your values, not abandon them. OCD often attacks the things you care about most (family, safety, morality). ERP doesn't turn you into a person who doesn't care; it turns you into a person who isn't paralyzed by the "what ifs." You aren't becoming a dangerous person; you’re becoming a person who can live a full life despite having a noisy brain.

When "Hard" is the Way: Staying Motivated for ERP Between Sessions

We’ve all been there. You leave your therapy session feeling empowered, with a clear exposure plan in hand. But then Wednesday rolls around, the anxiety feels a bit louder than usual, and the "shortcut" of a compulsion starts looking very tempting.

If you’re finding it hard to stick to your ERP homework, first: take a breath. You aren't failing. You’re doing something that goes against every survival instinct your brain has.

Here are four ways to keep your momentum high when you're working through the "between-session blues."

1. Remember the "Why" (Your Values)

ERP isn't just about doing scary things; it’s about getting your life back. When motivation dips, ask yourself: What is OCD taking away from me today?

• Is it time with your kids?

• Is it your ability to focus at work?

• Is it the freedom to enjoy a meal without ritualizing? Motivation follows values. Don't do the exposure for the sake of the exercise; do it for the version of you that is free to live.

2. Think of it as "Brain Training"

Your brain’s alarm system is currently over-sensitive. Every time you do an exposure and resist the response, you are physically re-wiring your neural pathways.

• Doing the compulsion reinforces the "false alarm."

• Resisting the compulsion teaches your brain that the "danger" was never actually there. Each successfully completed homework assignment is a "rep" at the gym for your mental health.

3. Lean into the Discomfort

It sounds counterintuitive, but the goal of ERP isn’t to make the anxiety go away immediately—it’s to learn that you can handle the anxiety.

Pro Tip: When you feel that spike of "Need to check!" or "Need to wash!", try talking to your OCD like a pesky backseat driver. “I hear you, and I know you’re trying to 'save' me, but we’re staying the course.”

4. Small Wins are Still Wins

If a specific exposure feels like a 10/10 on the distress scale and you’re paralyzed, don’t give up entirely. Scale it back to a 6/10. The most important thing is consistency, not perfection. Doing a "smaller" version of your homework is infinitely better than doing nothing at all.

You’ve Got This

ERP is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be days when you feel like an ERP rockstar and days when you feel exhausted. Both are part of the process.

For the Parents: Being a Coach, Not a Rescuer

Watching your child sit with anxiety is one of the hardest things a parent can do. Your instinct is to protect them, but in the world of OCD, "protection" often looks like accommodation—and accommodation is OCD’s favorite fuel.

If your child is struggling to stay motivated with their ERP homework, try these strategies:

• Validate the Feeling, Not the Fear: Instead of saying, "You're fine, nothing bad will happen," try: "I can see how hard your brain is working right now, and I know this feels incredibly scary. I’m proud of you for leaning into this discomfort."

• Externalize the OCD: Remind your child that they are not the problem—the "OCD Monster" (or whatever name you've given it in session) is. Frame the ERP homework as a way for the two of you to team up against the bully.

• Watch for "Reassurance Seeking": It is tempting to answer the same "What if?" question for the 10th time to calm them down. Instead, gently redirect them: "That sounds like a 'Maybe' question. What did your therapist suggest we say to 'Maybe'?"

• Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Success: Sometimes an exposure doesn't go as planned. That’s okay. Celebrate the fact that they tried. Consistency is built on showing up, even when it feels messy.

Parental Self-Care Note: You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you’re feeling burnt out by the "OCD cycles" at home, remember that your calm is their anchor. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe.

But it feels SO real? - When OCD hijacks your brain’s alarm system

If you live with OCD, you’ve probably had moments where a thought or fear feels so real, it’s almost like it’s happening right now. Maybe your heart starts pounding, your stomach flips, or your chest tightens — and even though part of you knows it’s “just” a thought, another part feels completely convinced it’s true.

That can be one of the hardest parts of OCD: your mind and your body react as if the fear is real, and it can feel impossible to separate what’s actually happening from what OCD is telling you.

Why It Feels So Real

OCD doesn’t just give you scary thoughts — it activates your brain’s threat system. When your brain senses danger, it doesn’t stop to check whether the danger is real or imagined. It just sounds the alarm.

So when an intrusive thought pops up — like “What if I did something wrong and forgot?” or “What if this means I’m a bad person?” — your brain reacts like it would if there were an actual threat in front of you. Your heart races, adrenaline kicks in, your muscles tense. Those sensations are your body’s way of saying, “Something’s wrong — get ready!”

Except… there isn’t an actual threat. There’s just a thought.

The Body’s “Proof” Trap

When your body reacts this strongly, it can feel like confirmation that the thought must mean something.
You might think, “If I feel this anxious, there must be a reason.”
But the truth is that your body isn’t giving you proof — it’s giving you feedback.

It’s reacting to a false alarm. Just like a smoke detector going off from burnt toast, not an actual fire.

When Sensations Become Their Own Obsession

Sometimes, the sensations themselves become the next thing OCD latches onto. Maybe you start to notice your heartbeat, a lump-in-the-throat feeling, or a wave of nausea — and OCD says, “See? That feeling means it’s true.”

Now you’re not only afraid of the thought, but of the feeling, too.
This is one reason OCD can feel so relentless — the brain and body start looping off each other, convincing you the danger must be real.

The Hopeful News: You Can Teach Your Brain a New Way

This is where therapy — especially Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), a gold-standard treatment for OCD — makes such a difference.
In ERP, you practice letting those scary thoughts and sensations be there without doing the usual things to make them go away (like checking, avoiding, or seeking reassurance). Over time, your brain learns that you don’t actually need to respond to those alarms.

You start to notice that the thoughts and feelings rise and fall on their own.
You begin to trust that your body’s sensations aren’t proof — they’re just your nervous system doing what it’s always done: trying to protect you.

A Kind Reminder

When OCD makes something feel real — when your body reacts and your heart pounds — it doesn’t mean the fear is true. It means your brain’s alarm got triggered by a false signal.

With the right support, you can learn to see those moments for what they are: a body trying to help, a brain trying to protect, and a mind that’s strong enough to learn something new.

Therapy gives you the tools to break that cycle and live with more freedom, peace, and trust in yourself.

You don’t have to keep believing the false alarms. You can learn to let them pass — and come home to calm again.

Understanding the Taboo Themes of OCD—and How ERP Therapy Can Help

When people hear "OCD," they often think of handwashing, checking locks, or color-coordinated shelves. But for many living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, the experience is far less visible—and far more distressing. Some of the most common forms of OCD revolve around intrusive thoughts that are violent, sexual, or blasphemous in nature. These are often referred to as taboo themes.

Despite being widespread among OCD sufferers, taboo themes are rarely discussed, leading many to suffer in silence. In this post, we'll explore what taboo-themed OCD is, how it manifests, and how a powerful treatment method called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy is helping people reclaim their lives.

What Are "Taboo Themes" in OCD?

Taboo-themed OCD involves intrusive, unwanted thoughts or mental images that are considered socially or morally unacceptable. These thoughts clash with the person’s values, causing intense guilt, shame, and anxiety.

Common taboo themes include:

1. Sexual Intrusive Thoughts

• Unwanted sexual thoughts about children (pedophilia OCD or “POCD”)
  

• Incestuous thoughts
  

• Thoughts of being sexually attracted to family, friends, or religious figures
  

• Worries about one’s sexual orientation (not to be confused with healthy questioning)
  
  2. Violent or Harm-Based Intrusive Thoughts

  • Fear of hurting a loved one, stranger, or oneself
    

  • Fear of committing a violent crime
    

  • Intrusive images of stabbing, hitting, or killing
    

  3. Religious or Moral Obsessions ("Scrupulosity")

  • Fear of offending God or being sinful
    

  • Obsessions over moral perfection
    

  • Excessive concern about religious rituals being performed "perfectly"
    

  These thoughts are ego-dystonic, meaning they are out of alignment with the person's values and beliefs. That’s what makes them so distressing: the person does not want to have them.

  How Taboo OCD Affects People

  People with taboo OCD themes often experience:

  • Crippling shame and isolation: They may fear being judged or misunderstood, even by therapists.
    

  • Avoidance behaviors: Avoiding children, knives, religious places, or anything that might "trigger" the thought.
    

  • Mental compulsions: Reassuring oneself, praying, reviewing past behaviors, or "testing" whether the thought is true.
    

  • Relationship strain: Difficulty forming or maintaining relationships due to fear of acting on unwanted thoughts.
    

  • Misdiagnosis: These individuals are often misdiagnosed with conditions like psychosis or personality disorders.
    

• It’s important to understand: having an intrusive thought does not mean someone wants to act on it. In fact, the distress comes because the thought is so out of character.

  The Role of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy

  ERP is the gold-standard, evidence-based treatment for OCD—especially taboo-themed OCD. Here's how it works:

  Exposure:

  The person is gradually exposed to thoughts, images, or situations that trigger their obsessions. This could involve:

  • Writing down or reading feared thoughts ("I might harm my child")
    

  • Looking at images that provoke anxiety (e.g., family photos if dealing with incest OCD)
    

  • Watching media that includes religious content
    

  Response Prevention:

  The key is not to engage in the compulsive behavior that usually follows. This helps the brain learn that:

  • The thought doesn’t need to be neutralized
    

  • Anxiety will decrease on its own over time
    

  • Thoughts do not equal actions
    

  Over time, the brain learns that the thought is just a thought—not a threat.

• Effectiveness:

  ERP has been found to be highly effective, with studies showing that 60–80% of people experience significant symptom reduction. When combined with education and the support of a trained therapist, ERP can help individuals take their lives back from OCD.

  What ERP Is Not

  It’s not about proving you’re “safe” or “not a bad person.”

  
  It’s not about reassurance.

  
  It’s not about erasing thoughts—but learning to coexist with them.
  
  This process can be uncomfortable, especially at first—but it is life-changing.

Final Thoughts

Taboo-themed OCD is more common than people realize, yet it’s one of the least talked-about forms due to stigma and fear of judgment. But having intrusive thoughts does not mean you're dangerous, immoral, or broken. It means you have OCD—a treatable condition.

If you're struggling, you're not alone—and you deserve help. ERP therapy offers a path forward grounded in research, compassion, and real-world success.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one observing them—and you are not alone.

Bella’s Journey through ERP for Emetophobia (Fear of Vomit)

To bring  therapy to life, let’s meet Bella, a 28-year-old teacher who struggled with emetophobia since childhood.

Bella’s fear of vomiting controlled nearly every aspect of her life. She avoided plane travel, public speaking, new restaurants, and even children—worried they might bring germs. She maintained an extremely restrictive diet and carried anti-nausea remedies everywhere she went. Despite being healthy, she often misinterpreted normal sensations like hunger or bloating as signs she was about to vomit.

After years of trying to manage the fear on her own, Bella sought help and was referred to a therapist who specialized in ERP. At first, the idea of confronting her fears seemed terrifying, but her therapist explained that they would go at a manageable pace and that Bella would be in control of each step.

They started with small exposures: saying the word "vomit" aloud, then watching short videos of people pretending to be sick. Over time, she worked up to sitting in crowded restaurants, eating previously "unsafe" foods, and even caring for her niece when she had the flu.

It wasn’t easy—Bella had moments of high anxiety, doubt, and even considered quitting. But she learned to sit with the discomfort without trying to “fix” it. Slowly, her brain stopped seeing nausea as a threat. One day, months into therapy, she realized she'd gone out to dinner with friends, ordered a meal she used to fear, and never once thought about getting sick.

Today, Bella still experiences occasional moments of anxiety, but they no longer control her. “ERP gave me my life back,” she says. “I no longer live in fear—I live in freedom.”

How ERP Works for Emetophobia

ERP for emetophobia typically begins with building a fear hierarchy—a list of feared situations ranked from least to most anxiety-provoking. These can include:

• Saying the word “vomit” aloud

• Watching a video of someone gagging

• Reading a story that includes someone getting sick

• Eating a food that the person has avoided

• Sitting in a crowded restaurant

  Therapy starts with lower-level exposures and gradually moves up the hierarchy. Each exposure is repeated until the person’s anxiety decreases through a process called habituation—where the body and mind learn that the feared outcome doesn’t happen, or if it does, it is manageable.

  At the same time, the therapist helps the client prevent compulsive responses—for example, resisting the urge to research food poisoning, constantly check expiration dates, or repeatedly ask for reassurance from others.

  Why It’s Effective

  ERP works because it helps retrain the brain.

  In emetophobia, the brain is sending out false alarms—treating nausea or the idea of vomiting as a life-threatening event. Avoidance reinforces this belief, keeping the anxiety cycle going. ERP breaks the cycle by helping individuals learn that anxiety, while uncomfortable, is not dangerous—and that they can survive and even thrive without being ruled by their fear.

  Challenges and Considerations

  ERP for emetophobia can be emotionally demanding, especially early in treatment. Many people are understandably terrified at the idea of confronting their biggest fear, even in small ways. That’s why it’s important to:

  • Work with a therapist trained in ERP and familiar with treating emetophobia
    

  • Go at a pace that’s challenging but manageable
    

  • Recognize and celebrate progress, no matter how small
    

  • Address underlying perfectionism, control issues, or trauma if they’re contributing factors
    

  Medication, such as SSRIs, may also be recommended in some cases to help reduce baseline anxiety and support the therapy process.

• Final Thoughts

  Emetophobia can feel isolating, exhausting, and endless—but it doesn’t have to be. Exposure and Response Prevention therapy offers a structured, effective pathway out of fear and back into life. With patience, courage, and the right support, it is possible to stop avoiding life out of fear of vomiting—and start reclaiming joy, freedom, and peace of mind.

  Just like Bella, you can face the fear—and find freedom on the other side.
  
  
  
  

Anticipation Anxiety

Anticipation anxiety is the anxiety that we experience prior to a feared trigger. This trigger can really be anything: Monday morning, a job interview, a plane ride, a test, an unwanted conversation, a medical appointment, trying a new food or activity. This common type of anxiety can range from mild and barely noticable to incredibly impairing. Many times, the discomfort from anticipation anxiety can be far worse the the discomfort experienced during the actual event. Have you ever wondered why this happens?

The human brain has a unique ability to create an emotional response to a feared or imagined stimuli that is just as painful and vivid as a real event. It has obviously served us in positive ways. It has allowed us to create safety measures that protect us from future or possible threats (locks on doors, seat belts, helmets, etc). The downside is that it also allows us to think and imagine detailed, terrible, scenerios that lead us to feeling uneccessarily miserable at times as well.

Some of the congitive distoritons (negative patterns of thinking) that can maintain this type of the anxiety are: fortune telling (predicting a bad or scary outcome), overgeneralization (assuming that because something turned out badly in the past, it will always turn out the same way) and mind reading (assuming that we know what others are thinking or are going to think about us).

If anticipation anxiety about an upcoming situation or event has you on the hook right now, you can try a few of my favorite tips to tame it:

1. Practice staying in a curious, present mindset by saying “ Let’s see” or “Let’s see how this goes”. Sticking with a “let’s see” mindset allows us to stay in the moment and let the situation unfold instead of staying focused on our future expectations. Spoiler alert*** Humans are not great at seeing into the future or reading minds****

2. Postponing the worry. This is particularly helpful when the feared trigger is weeks or months away. Basically, when you notice the thought pop into your head, you tell yourself “I will focus on this later” or “I will focus on this when the event gets closer”. Most of us are better at letting our guard down and shifting our awareness away from the worry when we know that we have a plan to deal with it at some point in the future.

The goal is to get back to trusting in your own ability to handle life as it comes. Most of the people that I work with are MUCH better and handling life events than they think. I bet you are are as well.

Face you Fears with the Help of Virtual Reality

Last night I read my son’s letter to Santa. He asked for a VR headset for gaming. Here in 2023, Virtual Reality has become popular enough in the world of gaming that 8 year olds are asking for it.

Did you know that is has been used in mental health therapy since the 1990’s? Well - it has.

Previously, the technology was expensive and only used by large healthcare systems. But now, individual providers can use it to improve the effectiveness mental health therapy for different issues. In my practice, I use it to help clients face fears like flying, needles, heights, elevators, small spaces, driving, and public speaking.

Exposure therapy really means going towards the thing that you are afraid of in a safe environment. The goal is to reduce fear and avoidance. The immersive experience used in Virtual Reality Therapy can be a great way to build your confidence in going towards both the situation that you fear and the discomfort associated with it. Typically, in exposure therapy, clients go towards the thing they fear over and over again until the fear decreases. Using Virtual Reality to do this is a great option for fears like flying where the in vivo (aka - real life) exposure of boarding an airplane, taking off, experiencing turbulence, etc. is incredibly time consuming and expensive to do on repeat.

The only things that are needed to experience the benefits of therapist-led Virtual Reality Therapy from the comfort of home are: a smartphone (to use the VR app), a computer, and a universal VR headset ($20-$40 depending on the brand). Kind of wild, but it feels like the future is here!

Supporting a Loved One with OCD

It's incredibly hard to see someone you care about dealing with OCD. It doesn't matter if they're a child or an adult. They might avoid doing things they enjoy, have a hard time going to school or work, and feel constantly frustrated or stuck. While finding a therapist who specializes in treating OCD is crucial, there are other ways you can provide support.

First, learn about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) by visiting a website like: www.iocdf.org. Understand that people with OCD find their obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors as frustrating as we do. Many individuals I've assisted with OCD express phrases such as "I know this thought isn't true, but I can't stop thinking about it" and "I know doing x, y, or z won't truly help, but I can't stop." Recognizing that you and your loved one share a common goal of overcoming OCD can strengthen your sense of unity.

Second, learn about the importance of family involvement and accommodation in maintaining symptoms of OCD. The phrase "OCD loves company" suggests that human interaction can influence OCD symptoms. Researchers and mental health professionals have been studying this (Ex. Eli Lebowitz and the Yale Child Study Center). When your loved one is struggling, it's tempting to either demand that they stop their rituals or to change your own behavior to accommodate the rituals. However, neither approach is helpful in the long run. Instead, try validating your loved one's pain by acknowledging how difficult it is for them right now. You can also boost their confidence by expressing your belief in their strength to overcome it.

As a therapist, I've witnessed the immense strength in facing OCD on multiple fronts. If your loved one isn't ready for help yet, you can support them by learning to confront OCD in a supportive way. It's a tough but rewarding process. Reach out to a professional for guidance and set yourself and your loved one up for success.

Help for panic attacks.

Panic attacks feel awful. Even if they only last for a short amount of time, it can feel like an eternity. What exactly are they? And how can I take care of myself when I have one?

The definition of panic is: the fear of fear. It is when we think of and behave as though anxiety sensations are a threat. If I were to feel my heart beating faster and think “oh no! I don’t want to feel this again!”, then I have just treated a bodily sensation like a threat. Now my body gives me a boost of energy to protect me from the threat. Now I have the energy to fight or run for our life. My heart might be pounding, it’s feels hard to breath, maybe even like Ii am choking, palms sweaty, dizzy, vision blurry, a general sense of doom……. It feels awful.

Over the course of our lives, most people will experience one or more panic attacks. Panic attacks only become a problem when we start to fear the next one. Once we start to fear the next one, our lives can start to get smaller. We might avoid the place or situation that we were in when the last one occurred. It can all pick up pace quite fast.

So what can I do in the moment when I have a panic?

Well, first of all reminding ourselves that as bad as this feels, it is NOT dangerous, and it WILL pass. (There is no record of anyone having a panic attack that lasted forever). Really, the way that we think about these normal albeit unplesant sensations is the MOST important part. The attitude that will really set us free sounds something like: “I’m feeling anxious, so what?”

Then, refocus on the world outside of our body. As long as we keep looking for internal sensations that we don’t like, we will find something. (If I told you not to focus on your big toes right now, you would probably start noticing how they feel).

Grounding is a great way to refocus on our surroundings instead of our internal sensations. There are many ways to practice this, but one of my favorites is color counting. All you need to do is pick a color (really, any color) and start counting all of the things that you see that are that color. You can sit still or walk around. Spending a few minutes doing this will give your brain a small solvable task to focus on.

Finally, go back to doing what you were doing before you started to notice the sensations of anxiety. The less space you give anxiety, the less of you it will take.